167186

Joke of the Day

"Lost dog. Missing: Three-legged dog. Distinguishing feature: Falls over when it pisses."

"What is small, dark, and knocking at the door? The future"

"If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away."

"why aren't mexicans and blacks suppose to have kids? because the children will be to lazy to steal."

"Told my mum someone had been shot and she asked with what? I wanted to reply 'with a cutlass' but I want her to pay for masters..."

"How not to be funny. /r/funny"

"What is the hardest Part about being a pedophile Fitting in"

"I was tanning on the beach with my son. After a while, he looked at me and said, ""You're look like a lobster."" ""Uh oh, do I need some sun tan lotion?"" I asked. He said, ""No, you're just really ugly."""

"I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"Taking my 4 year old to see Straight Outta Compton. I can't remember ever being this excited for a movie that's rated G."