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Joke of the Day

"Women's voices naturally get higher as they get excited so if you're in bed and she still sounds like Morgan Freeman, try harder."

"What do you call a zombie eating a dog? Asian zombie"

"Why did the pie go to the dentist? It needed a filling."

"Love my pillow so much because it doesn't leave my house in the morning after spending the night with me."

"Hey, Lucy! Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?"

"Anyone want to know my secret to quit procrastination? I'll tell you tomorrow."

"It doesn't matter if I go to church or the gym as long as I can act superior later, right?"

"What do you get when you cross a pig with an elephant? A very large animal that knows a lot of jokes."

"Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else !"

"I became ill after taking self-defense classes... I think I caught Kung Flu."