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Joke of the Day

"My wife tells me im always too negative Well, doesnt that make me a positive?"

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"911 The American police have said they will never forget 9/11. Pretty hard too, I would think, considering it's your phone number!"
"What do you call a fat person with a flat butt? A hipobottomless"
"What is an alto's favorite drink? High C!"
"An Apple a day may keep the Doctor away!!!... But an Onion a day keeps Everybody away!!!"
"Hezbollah put out a new Moisturiser... 100% Shi'a butter."
"Baywatch Q: What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts? A: Silicon Valley."
"Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out."
"I would bring my dog a nice jerky treat from Colorado, but he only eats local, sustainable cat turds."
"Apparently, lifting your feet so she can reach underneath, Is NOT considered ""helping her vacuum."" Lesson learned, fellas. Lesson learned."