16635

Joke of the Day

"""People should never again say that if they had a time machine, they'd go back & stop Hitler. Because we now know nobody would."" - my kid"

"PILOT OVER INTERCOM: alright folks, by a show of hands, who has ever made a small and understandable mistake?"

"What do you call a happy prosecutor? Smiles Edgeworth."

"People always ask 'how do you cope with erectile disfunction'? Honestly, it's not that hard"

"My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money; watch your health..."" So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. -Jackie Mason"

"Just bought a Tupac of Eminems for 50 Cents It was Ludacris!"

"When I was five, my Dad put Snowballs in the blender to make a slushie... I miss snowballs, she was a good cat."

"Really discouraging that there's still bald people in sci fi movies."

"I installed a pedometer app on my phone But whichever direction I walk, I seem to be moving away from the kids."

"I think it's nice that the vowels sometimes let ""Y"" into their crew."