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Joke of the Day
"Today I met a midget in a KKK outfit. I knew right away he was a little racist."
Next Joke
"Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating..."
"Saw a girl with three lip-ring piercings on the subway this morning. Took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain."
"Wait just a minute! You're not Jennifer Aniston! Oh, you got me with that avi. Well played. I knew it was to good to be true."
"What do zombie vegans eat? ... Grains!!!"
"In an alternate universe, the President... is given an attache and told not to press the button inside beyond the most dire circumstances. Instructions nuclear."
"Proof that road construction workers are lazy They're always just [milling](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavement_milling) about!"
"Why do all public restrooms feel haunted?"
"66% of being a woman is just hiding the remote when you're mad"
"Why is Adam known as the first accountant? He turned a leaf and made an entry."