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Joke of the Day

"A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender ""A pint of beer please."" The bartender says ""Wow that's amazing! You should join the circus!"" The dog then replies ""Why? Do they need electricians?"""

"What are green and smell like pork? Kermit's fingers"

"I talk a lot of shit for someone who won't sleep with her feet out from under the covers because of the monsters under the bed."

"What's the hardest part about working as a nurse or doctor at a women's hospital? When you ask the patients ""what's the problem?"" They'll say ""nothing"""

"Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn't realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It's causing quite a stir..."

"Why doesn't men use make-up or perfume? Because we're beautiful and smell good!"

"I went to vegetarian restaurant the other day... I falafel afterwards."

"Caffeine is like my psycho girlfriend. As long as we're together everything is great, but if I ignore it for one day, it tries to kill me."

"Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth."

"A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study."