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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Roman with hair between his teeth? a GladHeAteHer"

"There's been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed..."

"I was talking to a record producer at the urinals and now I've got a number 1 on my hands"

"What happened to the man with a legal fetish when he went to court for his parking ticket? He got off on a technicality"

"What is brown and gray has eight legs and is carrying a large trunk and a small trunk? A Chihuahua on vacation with an elephant."

"A job interview is like a first date. You dress up, pretend to be someone else and spend the time wondering if you're going to get screwed."

"How I met your mother was....... How I met your mother was.....nothing but a 9 year (season) long TED Talk"

"I once tried starting a private airline business But it never took off"

"""How the fuck should I know if it's still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn't good. You people, you think I got microscopic fucking eyes."""

"4: I'M GONNA RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT Me: Stop yelling violent things 4: *whispers* I'm gonna rip your eyeballs out"