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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I wonder if the ghost in my house thinks he's being haunted by some angry, naked, drunk guy."

"Over the weekend, my girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said ""Wow, that's an awfully big word for a 12 year old."""

"If I drew a cartoon depicting Mohamed and Harambe dating It would be Haram-Bae"

"Why do Jews have big noses? Because oxygen is free."

"Chicken pot pie. My three favourite things."

"-This is my son Michelangelo. -Oh, like the artist. -Um no like the Ninja Turtle."

"Chuck Norris strikes fear into zombies."

"French rifle for sale. Never fired. Dropped twice."

"What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country"

"New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."