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Joke of the Day

"You guys wanna hear a joke? My life."

"What did Stella McCartney say during a threesome? Come together Right now Over me"

"I hope you never have to experience the loss of a child. Lotta paperwork."

"I was gonna make a chemistry joke Then i realized all the good ones argon."

"An Irishman walks out of a pub."

"A Billionaire, a Misogynist, and a Racist walks into a bar The bartender asks how he is doing in the election. Edit: shitty spelling and punchline"

"An Australian asked me, ""Have you come to die?"" ""No, I came yesterday."", I replied."

"[Me chasing 12 greyhounds round a race track] YOU'LL GET TIRED EVENTUALLY. THEN I WILL PET YOU!"

"How did Wendy die? The Baconator."

"Patient: Doctor you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that? Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want."