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Joke of the Day

"What's Sarah Palin's favorite thing to do in the summertime? Parah Salin."

"I think my neighbor's dog is in heat. She's been crying the last 2 nights. I may need to take one for the team if I want to get some sleep."

"[interviewer looks up from resume] in the skills, you wrote ""completing sentences? Yes."" wow. you ""'re hired?"" amaz- ""on prime?"" get out."

"What is the strongest bird ? A crane !"

"Jack LaLanne died two years ago and he's still in better shape than I am."

"You are the pebble in my shoe of people."

"Knights and dragons must have been the first rappers. After all, dragons spit fire, and knights slay."

"Modified oldie: My dick is ... Boaster: My dick is 12 inches but I don't use it as a rule Boaster+: And mines one metre but I don't use it as a foot!"

"I broke a lightbulb, smashed artwork, splattered milk from cereal bowls across kitchen walls and knocked over candles. Fly is dead."

"I'm like a cupcake, I'll go straight to your ass, girl."