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Joke of the Day

"Girls are a lot like sleeping bags. I really like being inside them, and they cost about $200."

"What do you call a nymphomaniac graffiti artist? Bonksy"

"Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn't get a date. "

"What's long and hard and screws people? An exam."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Hot and all over my lap."

"Posting a status update before responding to someone's text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are."

"*sees a cat yawning* How the hell can you be tired?"

"I bet at least ONE of Leonardo DiCaprio's friends has called him Leotard. Probably Mark Wahlberg..."

"I figured why people make the same noises when they are carrying something and having sex They are both carrying a load."

"What did the Doe say when she walked out of the bushes? I'll never do that for two bucks again."