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Joke of the Day

"I was thrilled when this beautiful girl came up and asked me for a date. Then I realised it was just because I work at a dried fruit stand."

"I hate it when I accidentally grab two pieces of pizza and then have to eat the whole thing to keep it even."

"Supposedly a banana a day can help prevent colon cancer Doc forgot to mention you're supposed to eat them."

"What comes after Ebola? Fbola."

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall. It depends on how hard you throw them"

"Dick::Ebola Your dick is like ebola, you dont have it and no one wants it"

"What do you call a torturer who says a lot of puns. A PUNisher"

"That's it, teachers. Keep gloating on Facebook about your snow day. You'll see my kids tomorrow after their breakfast of Coke & Pixy Stix."

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink... Not if Guantanamo Bay has anything to say about it."

"I bought a new boomerang... and went damn near crazy trying to throw the old one away!"