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Joke of the Day

"If you're doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide from the giant surveillance apparatus the government's been hiding."

"You know you're awesome when Facebook suggests people you have already had sex with."

"What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? A washing machine won't follow you around after you dump your load in it."

"Switzerland I've heard a lot of good things about Switzerland. I mean, the flag's a big plus, right?"

"I like to make up little activities to keep the kids busy, such as ""Go out and find $1000 by midnight or we're gonna lose the house!"""

"The shepherd woke up one afternoon... ""Oh no! I fell asleep! I hope nobody stole my sheep. Let's see 1, 2, *Zzzzzz*"""

"I can't believe Penn State took the Joe Paterno Statue down. They should have just turned it so it looked the other way."

"What did one dick say to the other dick? Nothing, they were both stuck up cunts."

"How do you know when your roommate is gay? When his dick tastes like shit."

"If you love something, let it go. From the creators of ""If you're tired, go for a run,"" and ""If you're on fire, eat bees"""