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Joke of the Day

"What did u do last night? Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows? Me [covering tub of dead birds]: is that the saying?"

"You can say what you want about pedophiles ...but at least they drive slowly around schools and playgrounds."

"A woman walks into a bar... and says to the bartender, ""I'd like a beer please."" The bartender asks, ""Anheuser Busch?"" She responds, ""Just fine thanks, and how's your cock?"""

"[Guy on the Death Star who's really sick of hearing Vader's breathing but is too scared to say anything]: I'm going to put on some music"

"What side of a monster has more hair ? The outside !"

"Whoa there, pregnancy test. You just tell us yes or no and we'll decide if it's positive or negative."

"Black jokes and Mexican jokes are all the same, once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamall."

"What did the horny dog say to the girl dog? Do you like it ruff?"

"My dog LOVES dark chocolate... He doesn't care about antioxidants, it's all about great taste for him"

"What do Michael Jackson and someone that come in second place have in common? They both cum in a little behind!"