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Joke of the Day

"What's the most racist place in a house? The laundry room. It's the only place where the blacks have to be separated from the whites."

"How's your day been? Grape!"

"Just tried to massage a stressed worm but I did it too hard and now it's dead and arguably more stressed than before"

"If you can't win an argument, correct their grammar."

"Putin Sends New Year's Message of Peace To Obama Inside a pipe bomb."

"Apparently if someone has a seizure in the bathtub, its in bad taste to throw your laundry in .. yep. Going to hell right here."

"All I want from a woman is for her to hold my hand, look into my eyes, and tell me it's ok to get out of her bushes."

"What's your favourite food if you hate Microsoft Word? TeX-MeX"

"[red carpet] ""So Ryan, who are u with tonight?"" Ryan Gosling [proudly] ""My parents"" [two geese in black tie nervously shuffle to his side]"

"Great Comcast customer service http://gizmodo.com/comcast-changed-customers-name-to-asshole-brown-but-i-1682409072 Best article i red in while."