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Joke of the Day

"I have a friend named Jimmy Glasscock You can see it coming."

"I'm not sure faith can move mountains... But we all know what it can do to skyscrapers. EDIT: Thanks for the love. More people have upvoted this post than have died in the attacks."

"Cats are like rapists My cat is a lot like a rapist. He has no concept of the words ""Stop"" and ""No!"""

"How many Southerners does it take to change a lightbulb? Change? Whatever do you mean, *change*?"

"What's black and doesn't work? A broken TV.............. racist."

"On your first day in jail, when they ask you what you're in there for, say ""the food"" so all the other prisoners know you're a loose cannon."

"NATURAL BLONDE Q: What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair? A: Artifical intelligence."

"*takes picture of son putting ornament on the tree* Okay, now give that back to mommy and don't touch another one, okay?"

"If I had known ""cuties"" were little oranges when my wife asked me to ""bring a few home,"" I could have avoided these awkward introductions."

"Did anyone see the lunar eclipse tonight? It was right by 'your anus'."