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Joke of the Day

"[creating animals] God- I want an animal with 2 humps Angel- And a cute face? G- Yes.. And make them spit at humans A- LOL G- LOL"

"Did you guys hear about the sequel of ""To Kill a Mockingbird""? It's called... ""The Murder of Crows"""

"At a Smucker's family reunion... ...there is at least one mother Smucker"

"Pete and repeat are in a boat Pete and repeat are brothers. Pete falls overboard, who's left?"

"8yo: Do we have a fire extinguisher? Me: Yes. 8yo: Where? Me:... 8yo: WHERE! 6yo: (from outside) It's spreading. Me: I'm up."

"[reads chocoholic on tinder bio] Mmm I love chocolate, too [reads workaholic] I work a lot as well [reads catholic] I also am a cat addict"

"[ordering cake over phone] ""and what would you like the cake to say?"" [covers phone to ask wife] ""do we want a talking cake?"""

"My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself."

"Life is like a box of chocolates. I don't have a box of chocolates."

"I tried planting some seeds on myself... I wasn't into it at first, but now it's growing on me."