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Joke of the Day

"I tried planting some seeds on myself... I wasn't into it at first, but now it's growing on me."

"Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it? Because there could be an Italian dressing inside."

"I felt like making some penis jokes today. Only problem is that they were too *hard* to make."

"Why are there so few professional pedophiles? Most of them prefer playing in the minors."

"My hammer is alot like my dick... About 20 years old and hooks slightly to the left"

"Rethink everything in your life if you're one of the 43,000 people making comments on an instagram photo of Kylie Jenner stretching."

"The unused coloring book. Why can't the little girl color the elephant in her coloring book? Her arms are amputated."

"Porsche designer... the most overpaid job in the world"

"If Rick Ross was Jamaican his slogan would be Bumbuh Rawss (Say it in a Jamaican accent)"

"Guy Who Invented Figurative Speech: I've got something that'll blow your minds. Townspeople: *fleeing in abject terror*"