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Joke of the Day

"I apologized to the librarian if I appeared desperate, after all... I asked her to check me out..."

"What do you say if you meet a toad? Wart's new?"

"In this economy I sometimes have to make tough choices. Like between eating or buy that cover for my iPad."

"There are only three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't."

"I hate when The Little Mermaid is all ""who cares no big deal I want more!"" Like, you already have 20 thingamabobs you aquatic scumbag relax"

"I'm doing the vacuuming.. It doesn't need doing but it's a legitimate way of annoying the kids"

"What does a Mexican duck say? Guac guac"

"The chicken I just ate wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up."

"My wife left me because she said I made a meal out of everything. I intend to make her eat those words."

"Why did TEN die because he was in the middle of 9/11"