165238

Joke of the Day

"Freak out your neighbors by removing one member of their stick figure decal family each night."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? FUCK, MY CHICKEN'S IN THE ROAD? WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU DO SOMETHING?! JESUS CHRIST, HE COULD GET RAN THE FUCK OVER! YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT!!"

"Doctor: Have you ever had this before? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well you've got it again!"

"Oxygen and Magnesium walk into a bar... OMg!"

"I never reflect more on the terrible things I might have said or done than when you take longer than 10 minutes to text me back."

"I always wondered why my girlfriend's ex had his fist clenched when he saw me with her. Then it hit me."

"What did a bad teacher tell their wisecracking student? Don't get smart with me."

"I'm gonna stay a virgin my entire life I wanna set a good example for my kids!"

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? If they had 4 doors they'd be chicken sedans."

"Why do you see so many Bernie Posts on r/all? Because supporters of other candidates are out working or voting."