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Joke of the Day

"Nike has to stop it with this ""Just do it"". First it was Tiger Woods. Then Lance Armstrong. And now Oscar Pistorius."

"Lactose Joke (^_^) Soy milk is actually just milk that speaks only Spanish."

"Hooker to customer: ""I will do anything for you for $500"". Customer says incredulously: ""ANYTHING?"" Hooker: ""Sure"" Customer: ""Meet me at my house on Friday, I want you to -"" ""paint my house."""

"Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn't argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor."

"What do my jokes have in common with toilet paper? They're both tearable."

"I was recently diagnosed with mesothelioma it's tough sometimes, but I'm doing asbestos I can."

"I can't think of a single reason to use an idiom If you ask me, they're for the birds"

"Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby sister? I'd much rather have a jelly baby."

"Two atoms walking down the street ... ... one turns to the other and says ""I think I've lost an electron"". The other replies ""F*ck me, a talking atom!"""

"I sometimes like to close my eyes and imagine a world with no poverty and also that my hand is a woman."