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Joke of the Day

"I almost lost my hearing in an accident... It was a near-deaf experience."

"I FEEL SO ALIVE MCDONALD'S IS GIVING AWAY FREE COFFEE I PASSED 20 MCDONALD'S TODAY DO THE MATH TOO LATE I DID THE MATH SLEEP IS FOR MORTALS"

"I told my girlfriend we can either have sex, or go see Star Wars. She said ""I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out,"" but she pulled some strings and got me in."

"Why shouldn't you give a meth addict laxatives? because it's already hard enough for them to keep their shit together."

"You want to hear an old racist joke? Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Told that by an old homeless guy."

"My biological clock is wheezing."

"I'm so chuffed with myself! I just completed a puzzle in 40 minutes The box said 3-4 years"

"Q: What's worse than raining cats and dogs? A: Hailing taxis."

"Kid: ""I want to be a doctor when I grow up."" Mom: ""You can't. Your hands aren't cold enough."""

"do mice turn into rats or do i just have both in my apartment?"