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Joke of the Day

"The best joke about vampires EVER Just kidding. They all suck."

"My office has started random urine testing of employees to detect traces of hope or optimism."

"So my fiancee rolls over, wakes me up, and says, ""honey, your alarm is going off."" I say..... ""pics or didn't happen."""

"Food is like Dark Humor Not everyone gets it!"

"The camera adds 10 pounds. The front facing iPhone camera adds 437 pounds."

"What's the difference between toilet paper and a hand towel? So you're the one!"

"Working title for the new Tyler Perry movie? Alex Crossdresser"

"Good Morning guys! Just ran 21 kilometers in 2.8 hours. Really didnt know I could have done it. Temple Run is a really motivating game."

"I don't understand the appeal of strip clubs... All you do is throw money at women who refuse to have sex with you. If I wanted that I would be married."

"My wife was so sick this morning... that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast."