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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer... I said, No, wait! I can change!"

"I asked Rihanna where Chris Brown was She just shrugged her shoulders. ""Beats me!"""

"i NEVER VOTED FOR A PRESiDENT BECUZ iF iM GUNNA WASTE MY GAS THEN iT BETTER BE ON SOMETHiNG iMPORTANT LiKE DRiViNG TO CHiCK-FiL-A"

"I found out about you from my last nightmare."

"What did the parrot say when he saw a duck? Polly want a quacker!"

"I got lost in a closet as a child... When I came out, my parents, although supportive, really weren't that happy."

"It's not a ""gay"" wedding or a ""straight wedding"" it's a ""waste of money they could have used for a down payment."""

"The best thing about Twitter & Instagram is that every girl finally gets to be a princess, or a _princess, or even a prin_cess."

"Some say youth is wasted on the young, I say wealth is wasted on the old. Also Oxycontin."

"A friend is in jail and I can't help feeling partially responsible because I framed him for murder."