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Joke of the Day

"MOTHRA: try this, its crunchy & juicy GODZILA: i cant, im on a...low-car diet MOTHRA: o ha ha like low-carb GODZILA: ha ha HUMANS IN CAR: AHHH"

"A student asks another student, ""How many zeroes does your salary have?"" He responds ""One"" ""In which currency?"" ""Any :("""

"I don't trust stairs They are always up to something."

"Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hitler."

"What's the difference between a Porsche and a trash bag full of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage."

"Why are orphans bad at baseball? They don't know where home is."

"A redneck looks at a Mexican right in the eye and says, ""how does it feel to marry my ex wife and have my sloppy seconds?"" ""not bad,"" replies Juan,""after 2.5 inches deep she felt brand new"""

"What do you call a symphony where everyone plays at the same time instead of taking turns? An *and*chestra."

"My husband is on the roof - only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life."