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Joke of the Day
"What did the ghost say to the bees? Boo Bees! (say it aloud)"
Next Joke
"Me: LARGE FRY! McDonald's Manager: Ma'am, you can't use the drive-thru riding a stick pony. Please leave NOW Me: I WILL CUT YOU! *sirens*"
"I am giving up eating red meats. I'm going cold turkey."
"Life is like a box of chocolates. People repeating the same movie quotes over and over until words have no meaning peanut tambourine ocelot"
"Teach a man to fish and he will evolve to become so skilled at it that he destroys the ocean and kills every last fish. Nice one education."
"My wife and I couldn't have a baby so we decided to go to an adoption agency. I was so excited while I was in there. It made me happy to think that I could finally take off the baby on board sticker."
"What makes mexican and black jokes so similar? Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal."
"Who performs the most assisted suicides. Youth in Asia."
"First Ebola and now Measles... Is there ANYTHING hipsters won't bring back!?"
"Milk cartons in Asia have missing planes on them instead of children."