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Joke of the Day

"How bad is it when a nations power crisis can only be solved by a couple of hydroelectric plants? Two dam bad! (OC!)"

"Hey! Did you hear about the monster with five legs? His pants fit like a glove"

"[about to have sex] WIFE: what happened to all the condoms?! [cut to] ME: *making balloon animals at work* [cut back] ME: affair"

"Not knowing what to text back, but not wanting the conversation to end."

"Why are London buses red? Because they have to come every 10 minutes"

"Is it that you think I can't eat this rotisserie chicken with my bare hands while driving 75 mph, or that I won't? Either way, you're wrong."

"The Great Wall of America... ...is gonna be made in China."

"Atheism... ... is a non-prophet organization."

"Grandma, if you're looking down on me right now - close your eyes for a few minutes."

"How do you make a cat go ""woof!"" Pour lighter fluid on it and set it ablaze... ""WOOOOF!"""