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Joke of the Day

"Two lawyers are in a bar, and see a hot blonde sitting alone One of the lawyers looks at her and says ""Boy, I'd love to fuck her."" The second lawyer looked over and responded, ""out of what?"""

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"Toasted bread is like parents If theyre black you have nothing to eat."
"What has everyone been doing at Apple since the problems with the iPhone 6 started? Looking for Jobs."
"[police car behind me] Me: shit, was that a red light back there? My dog: like a light grey Me: ... My dog: if that helps"
"Beastiality is wrong. Neigh means neigh."
"A microwave with three only buttons. 1. Hot Pocket 2. Pizza Rolls 3. 4 Hot Pockets and 60 Pizza Rolls"
"Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same."
"What does C3PO stand for? Because he's got rusty knees."
"No one in traffic ever catches me eatin boogers cause u all textin and drivin"
"What is the Great Gatsby's favorite superhero? Green Lantern. His least favorite? Deadpool."