164482

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a communist sniper A Marxman"

"I had sex for an hour and 20 seconds today... Thank you daylight savings time."

"Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing zone in a swimming pool."

"i hate when people call their grandparents weird names instead of grandma and grandpa like babooshka or salami"

"What's the difference between parsley and pubic hair? Nothing. You push them both aside and keep on eating."

"What is a girl pirate hookers worst nightmare? (NSFW) Riding on a bunch of different ships, but never getting any seamen."

"Bill Clinton rapes a woman... Hillary Clinton then says to him... ""Bill did you rape another woman?"" Get it? Bill Clinton rapes women...."

"I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole."

"""No no no!"" said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. ""I cannot see you today!"" ""That's fine"" said the salesman ""I'm selling spectacles."""

"Not sure what my dog thinks I do all day, but based on her excitement when I get home she apparently lives in constant fear I'll be murdered"