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Joke of the Day

"My SO was feeling down today.. G: I feel fat when i look in the mirror, can you compliment me to make me feel better? B: You have great eyesight."

"When a friend asks you to keep her pregnancy on down low, you say Mum's the word"

"The most realistic part of Harry Potter is how he goes to a school where he learns skills he can't use in the real world."

"Cats are just dogs who've been to drama school."

"I'm about to tell my date that my penis is twelve inches wide. I don't know how she's going to take it."

"Press Release: ""Big thank you to Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice"" Sincerely, Tony Stewart's PR Team"

"Thought I was having a good hair day. Mother Nature likes to keep my ego in check though. She's really good at that."

"Two nuts were walking down a street... One was assaulted"

"Chuck Norris's Daughter Lost her Virginity... He got it back."

"I'm pretty bad at building fences Oops, wrong place for this post."