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Joke of the Day

"What do horny campers and Leo Di Caprios acting have in common? They are both fucking intense!"

"I used to be a necropheliac... [NSFW] ...but then some rotten asshole split on me."

"Detective: someone's been stealing boats, can we look in your basement? Me: I don't have a basement *sound of foghorn from basement*"

"A sad can goes to get recycled. He was soda-pressed."

"Endless shrimp. a.k.a sir we close at 10:30, you have to leave now Im going back in the morning and ask to continue"

"Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better."

"*Uses public restroom **Squats so long walks out with buns of steel"

"What do you call your whore mother? NASS"

"My doctor told me my testosterone level was unusually high. At least that's what I think he said, I could hardly hear him over the chainsaw."

"Dad: ""Don't you come back late midnight again... ...Otherwise you'll be coming back next year."""