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Joke of the Day

"Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better."

"Smoking is a scientific wonder! It kills people, but cures salmon."

"The cable guy said he'd be here sometime between 1:00 and April, 2016."

"If intelligence runs in your family, I can only guess it tripped and fell before it got to you."

"Sees friend from highschool. Gives friend a big hug. Refuses to let go of friend. Becomes siamese friends."

"What do you call a disembodied nose? Nobody nose. My 8-year-old niece claims she made this up. I have my doubts."

"My dad just had thought surgery and i asked him if he could still talk he said yes, and i'm about to email the doctor to see if i can get my bribe back."

"Why were deer testicles the most popular product at the meat fair? Because they were under a buck."

"If it wasn't for the internet, I would think ""12 Years A Slave"" was a movie about a guy exaggerating about the first 3 weeks of marriage."

"I heard dogs like to play with balls ...so I decided to get out the peanut butter"