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Joke of the Day

"My kid is singing ""Mac-n-cheese"" to the tune of ""Stand by Me."" You guys just tried it, didn't you?"

"Whenever you're feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there's people that pay money to exercise."

"I like writing my own chemistry jokes... Because the only good ones Argon."

"The MTV Movie Awards are a great reminder of why kids should never be allowed to vote."

"Shopkeeper: Stop! you can't smoke here. Me: But I bought the it from your shop. Shopkeeper: We also sell condoms but that doesn't mean.. but you don't use them here!"

"I married a hot girl from China So I can eat Chinese every night!"

"'I'm Spartacus' 'No I'm Spartacus' 'I am Spartacus' 'I AM Spartacus' 'I'm Spartacus' 'Look I just need someone to sign for the package'"

"Two Helium Atoms Are Bonding. HeHe"

"What song did the gay guy sing on his way back from vacation in Thailand? Goodbye yellow dick road"

"When I take my drugs on Sundays, I always say ""Body of Christ"" because I'm all religious and shit."