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Joke of the Day

"Truthful Tuesday: Sometimes I just say ""Hello"" back because there are too many witnesses around to stab you repeatedly in the face."

"10 Dollar Compliment A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, ""What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"""

"If familiarity breeds contempt and absence makes the heart grow fonder, then by definition marriage is a terrible idea."

"Where do ghoulies go to on the day before Halloween party? To the boo-ty parlour."

"Bat 1: Do you ever think God made us blind so that we may see the world for what it truly is? Bat 2: (startled) who said that"

"What is grey and comes in quarts? an elephant."

"Whats an intercourse? Something you do between the periods."

"Parents tell you their baby's weight because they have no other information. They can't say ""Meet Jim, a free spirit who's into yodeling."""

"Only in America... Can you shoot up a whole church and still be hated less than someone who shot a lion."

"I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up."