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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a musician and a large pizza? The pizza can feed a family of 4."

"White lies Don't matter. But black lies matter."

"Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?"

"Did you hear about the African comedian who died from a mosquito? He was malarious"

"I am dressed in all grey and a man also dressed in all grey just stared at me and for a second I got very nervous that he thought I was him"

"What do you call a Mexican who's car got stolen? Carlos."

"A fun thing to do would be to eat rat poison during a dinner party & then, when you die, they'll blame the host's cooking. Lol."

"Life plan: 1. Befriend shady people. 2. Witness a murder. 3. Enter witness protection & get new name. 4. So long student loans!"

"How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to get up on his high horse and another to chastise the first about oppressing horses."

"Why did the spy cross the road? Because he never really was on your side."