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Joke of the Day

"So, the mad scientist duo finally succeeded And the universe was destroyed by a pair o' docs"

"A man walks in his bedroom with a pig... under his arm. He says: ""I fucked this she-swine for 10 years"" His wife, shocked, yells: ""What?"" The man replies: ""Shut up, I was talking to the pig."""

"Never trust an atom. They make up everything. ;)"

"One time I asked ""What would Jesus do?"" & then a close friend betrayed me & everyone started misinterpreting what I said for their own gain."

"Wow I can't believe I stopped a girl from being raped tonight... I got exhausted and stopped chasing her."

"Wife: Don't you think the yard needs to be mowed? (from my recliner I check google maps satellite view of our house) Me: It looks fine to me"

"What do you get the man who has everything? Antibiotics"

"What should we name this ancient Japanese throwing knife? A: Let's just name it the first thing that comes to mind, think you can handle that? B: Sure I can."

"Lucifer, chased by an angel, hid himself in the London Philharmonic Orchestra He was eventually found in the horns section."

"Old game show bloopers...I miss this kind of humor today Found this video randomly http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv3gK2bmkAk&feature=related"