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Joke of the Day

"The US Treasury announced Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 So there's going to be a whole new bill in the black market."

"I don't blame people for not wanting Merrick Garland in the Supreme Court I would be scared too if I had to work with the Incredible Hulk in his later years."

"""I sit on my ass looking at the web all day."" a spider"

"What do you call five tomatoes? A tom-a-FOOT! In Europe, they call it a tom-a-METER."

"My wife told me I needed to slow down on the alcohol... ...or better yet, stop driving altogether."

"The zoo only has one animal it's a shih tzu."

"How can you tell that your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes."

"What's red, white, and black all over? a newspaper"

"what do jeb bush and lance arm strong have in common? everyone was disappointed with their last speeches and no one was disappointed when they dropped out of the race"

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave till it's Bill Withers."