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Joke of the Day
"What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice."
Next Joke
"So my wife walked in on me blowdrying my crotch... And asked me what I was doing. ""Just warming up breakfast for you, honey."" First post, hope I'm doing this right."
"Nervous about speaking in front of a crowd of people? Imagine everyone is wearing an Ed Hardy shirt"
"Holy lord, that sneeze felt so good I feel like I just cheated. I even named it Stan to further delude myself. I'm such a bad girl!"
"Did you know: Wi-Fi is short for ""wireless fireless."" Pre-wi-fi all internet was fire based. Firewall, firewire, ""fire up the computer"" etc."
"sorry, standing outside your house with a sign that says ""prom?"" was probably a confusing way to ask u what prom means"
"An asteroid 1,200 light years away has a 0.6% chance of colliding with the Earth, and you all just walking around like everything is fine."
"Doctor: Have you ever had this before? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well you've got it again!"
"Discipline in the Home by Wilma Child-Begood"
"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? If they had four doors, they'd be chicken sedans."