163777

Joke of the Day

"So in conclusion, the burglars in Home Alone 2 absolutely would have died. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk"

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A.I.D.S."

"Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn"

"[slashing food truck tires] friend: wtf are you doing?! [running away with arms filled with tacos] YOU COMIN OR NOT?!"

"What do you call a drunk dinosaur? A Staggersaurus."

"The fact touche and douche don't rhyme bothers me."

"Abstinence-only education... Was the first time I got screwed."

"What do fish smoke? Seewead"

"Skyscrapers are more than just structures. They have many, many stories."

"Mind over matter they told me... Thanks for the gold stranger! *edit* Front page! Much wow!"