163533

Joke of the Day

"Go suck an egg. Lick a mango. Breathe on an avocado. Make everyone at the grocery store uncomfortable."

"""I have a newt named Tiny."" ""Why do you call it Tiny?"" ""Because it's my newt."""

"Need Help with a prank I stole a co-workers pen the other day, (really nice pen) as a joke. I want to send them a ransome letter. Can anyone help me out? Thanks"

"Someone stole all the toilets from the local police station Detectives have nothing to go on."

"I thought I lost my car keys, but the NSA called and said they were in my other pants."

"Why is sex during a camping trip so exciting? It's in tents."

"Me: What music you into? Date: I love hip hop Me: Yeah me too [thinking of something to say to impress her] Me: Soup Dogg is my cousin"

"Boys are like bras.. They are cute and supportive until you use them too long and then they fall apart... ...also that's when the support ends"

"Roses are red, I have a phone, no one texts me, forever alone."

"Hey babies, I can do 12 push-ups. Impressed? Doap. Typo, meant babes. Impressed? No? Oh. Well then. Impressed babies?"