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Joke of the Day
"What do Asians do during an erection? They vote"
Next Joke
"If Charmin had any idea where I was sticking their toilet paper, I doubt they'd spend so much time on the pretty little designs."
"What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? The wife always blows the bonus."
"No one is more excited for today than Michael J. Fox... He's been shaking with anticipation for the last 25 years."
"How did the blind priest find the choir boys? Satisfying."
"I scared 5 and he buzzed while we played operation. He went and told my wife on me. Long story short, I'm sitting in timeout tweeting this."
"wife: ""he never reacts appropriately, just tell him"" doctor: ""ok, keith we had to remove both your legs"" me: ""where will i keep my car keys"""
"If you don't swear when you're driving, you aren't paying enough attention to the road."
"I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance.. ..so I pushed her over."
"My neighbor just planed an orange tree. I told him, ""That's a strange color for a tree."""