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Joke of the Day

"I was really missing school But I collected myself, took a few deep breaths, focused, reloaded my gun, and started nailing the little bastards."

"ME: sometimes i just repeat your name instead of laughing HANNAH: that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard ME: hannahannahannahannaha"

"Why did Heisenberg have a miserable sex life? Because when he found the correct position, he didn't have the momentum, and when he finally found the time, he didn't have the energy."

"Pros and Cons of Easter Pro: Eating a chocolate bunny that's hollow inside. Con: Looking in the mirror and realising you're the same."

"I'll never forget the day I said ""Ride down this hill"" and became the greatest bobsled coach in Olympic history."

"To err is human To arrrgh is pirate"

"If I had no emotions, I don't know how I'd feel about it."

"What do wives and shingles have in common? if you don't nail them right, they'll end up at your neighbor's."

"new tattoo My wife has a new tattoo. its a shell on the inside of her thigh. when i put my ear to it i can smell the sea..."

"Damn it mom. Boy: Mom do I look good? Mom: Ask your girlfriend. Boy: I don't have a girlfriend. edit: ."