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Joke of the Day

"What did the geologist say when he got a rock for his birthday? I appreciate the sediment."

"Why do white girls walk in odd numbers? Because they can't even"

"It's impossible to embarrass me because once the door opens on you while you're pooping on an amtrak train, you become untouchable"

"I thought you were good looking, until I clicked ""view more pictures"""

"This year's the year of the rooster, so I ate chicken. Next year's the year of the dog."

"Was going to wear my camouflage pants today Couldn't find them."

"Person I tried to rob describing me to the police: ""long hair, wearing pajamas, honestly she didn't seem very committed to it."""

"Why did the maniacal chemist drop a rancher into his latest concoction? Because the rancher was a cattlist."

"I just folded a fitted sheet so beautifully an owl just delivered a Hogwarts acceptance letter to my house"

"Where does David Cameron keep his hidden money? In the Piggy bank"