163072
Joke of the Day
"*Tucks shirt in* ""Goodnight, shirt."""
Next Joke
"How are America and McDonald's similar? They are both run by red-headed clowns."
"*Murderer points a gun at me* ""You wanna die today"" Me: ""Yeah kinda"" Murderer: *lowers gun* damn, you wanna talk about it?"
"What has 7 arms and sucks? Def Leppard."
"What did the termite eat for dinner? A table for two."
"Hair Stylist: What are we doing today? Me: Let's do something that will look great here but I'll have no chance of replicating at home"
"So i was sitting on the bus... ... next to this really hot Thai girl and i thought to myself, ""Please don't get an erection. Please don't get an erection."" ...But she did."
"Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating..."
"When you're Russian... There's no time for Stalin"
"So I fired my sphere maker... He kept cutting corners."