173206
Joke of the Day
"So I fired my sphere maker... He kept cutting corners."
Next Joke
"pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.."
"I was having sex with a 90 year old woman yesterday nsfw She stopped suddenly and shouted Quick call me an ambulance! I said, I'll call you whatever you want you kinky bitch."
"Al Gore's so boring his secret service name is Al Gore"
"9/11 was an outside job... ...until the planes came in"
"Thanks to this HUGE spider web I just walked into we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked"
"Why do fat girls give great head? Because they have to"
"[at home on video conference call] Yeah boss I don't know why I keep dropping. Maybe my connection is bad. *pauses Netflix on 2nd monitor*"
"Friend: I got a job as a carpenter, but it sucks. Me: No prob, just learn a few magic tricks and people will worship you as their savior."
"What would Ed Sheeran taste like on a piece of toast? gingerbread"