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Joke of the Day

"""You're a unit of power Joe."" ""I'm a Watt?"""

"What should I say? Someone just said I'm in denial But I'm not"

"Q: How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Juan"

"Once my credit card got stolen and I never reported it. The thief spent less than my wife."

"Did you hear Miley Cyrus got a new job? Coworkers say she has an excellent Twerk ethic"

"Two muffins are baking in the oven One muffin looks at the other and says, ""It's getting pretty hot in here"". The other muffin replies, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN""!"

"dont be sad, girl. u are like a iceberg.. 90% of ur beauty is below the surface. now 95%. now 100% OMG GIRL ARE YOU DROWNIMG"

"The guy I hired to kill my rats is amazing I think he's an ex-terminator"

"Why did Napoleon wear sleeves? For his armies"

"I'm not insulting you.. I'm describing you.."