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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One but just *try* to convince them that the burnt out bulb is useless and should be thrown away."

"Sure, the BMW symbol kind of looks like a sphincter, but I could already tell by the way you were driving."

"Did you know, if you cut off your left arm, your right arm would be left."

"When I was a little kid, my dad would swear then say ""Excuse my French"" One day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and I raised my hand"

"What's the longest word in English? smiles. Because there's a mile between both S."

"I wished I loved anything as much as my wife loves inspecting the pots and pans I wash by hand."

"If you're a guy who owns pantyhose, you're either a thief or sexually questionable. Either way, I don't trust you behind my back."

"I was 3 yrs old when my mom was diagnosed with my brother."

"""I want her skin."" -Serial killers and teenage girls"

"What do the Canadian Illuminati call themselves? The Illuminat-Eh!"