162782

Joke of the Day

"Just got a job as a software engineer for the government! My career as a professional shit poster is really gonna take off"

"What kind of headphones are sold in 50 shades of grey? Beats"

"How do you call a homosexual with a boner? Homo Erectus"

"Ladies, if he tells you he's 6 feet & 4 inches, be sure those aren't two separate measurements."

"A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies ""Sorry. We don't serve food""."

"Why don't blind people go for bungee jumping? it scares the shit out of the dogs."

"Love is patient. Love is kind. Love has never been in a relationship apparently."

"Most of us are 2 feet away from being a double amputee..."

"Like most people my age, I'm 23. ."

"A student brought me 20 huge homemade chocolate chip cookies today. Good thing I have self-control--I saved one for my kids. To split."