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Joke of the Day

"*ransom note on gun* [1 million dollars by Friday or I shoot your daughter. No exceptions] [ps please mail gun back it's my only one]"

"Why Did The Stadium Get Hot After The Game? Because all the fans left."

"Just bought a medical alert bracelet that says ""probably just shitfaced."""

"What did the facial hair say when it had to leave the party? ""Sorry guys, moustache!"""

"My mom: I was thinking of getting my grandson a drum set for Christmas! Me: Funny. I was just thinking about getting a new mother."

"It may not be ""politically correct"" to say this... ...but there are over one million U.S Senators."

"Why are the bears such a bad football team? Because when they were little, they were cubs. I'm so sorry"

"So I saw that the new dinosaur in Jurassic Park is a hybrid Guess that makes it Priustoric"

"In Soviet Russia Assholes are like Opinions KGB only lets you keep one of them"

"How do you know when a vegan gets to the party? Don't worry, they'll tell you."