24421

Joke of the Day

"Now that pinterest, instagram and netflix are down, I think I'm just going to spend the weekend learning the names of my children."

"""Grandpa, why did you let catastrophic global warming and 4+ Transformers movies happen?"" -- Your disappointed grandchildren"

"What kind of joke is the best joke? The one shoved up your ass. (As told by my adorable and naughty 7 year old)."

"Hearing someone say 'first world problems' is now almost worse than many third world problems."

"""WHO WANTS A PIECE OF ME?!?"" - Jesus, at the first Communion."

"How do you spot a dwarf in a drugstore? He's the smallest one"

"-Are you single? -No, I'm an album."

"How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up? He uses Hare Spray... (Ill see myself out)"

"Friend: You'll find love again. Me: STOP THREATENING ME"

"What's a cats favourite dictator? Chairman Maow"